True bliss.

I’ve got the Mama Gene.

Kids love me, and the feeling is mutual. John calls me The Baby Whisperer. I worked in a preschool for many years, and it was my best job. When I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always, “A mommy.” I am a caretaker by nature, and have looked forward to being a mother for a long, long time.

Well, life doesn’t always go as expected. Three years ago, my 8-year marriage imploded. When the dust cleared, I found myself in my mid-thirties and starting over. My life’s goal isn’t to have a baby, but inherently I‘ve always felt that I’m meant to be a mom. I looked around at all of my friends, most of whom have at least two kids, and felt defeated. So when one of my BFFs, Sarah, let me know she was pregnant last summer, maybe I should have been more prepared for my reaction.

I immediately started to sob.

Let me clarify: I was absolutely thrilled for Sarah and her wonderful husband, Cordell. THRILLED. But she had just gotten married! At times, she wasn’t even sure she wanted to have children! The Mac truck of emotions I was hit with took me by surprise. It’s hard for me to articulate why I felt so much, so deeply. It was like watching the life I wanted just pass me by. I was being left behind.

I regrouped quickly, and have spent months in impatient anticipation of Baby Brown’s arrival. This week, I was introduced to Macy Laine.

I was invited to share Days 2-5 of her life, helping her parents navigate their way through brand-new parent madness. What an honor to be there during these precious and fleeting moments in her life!

I write about ‘bliss’ here, but after seeing Sarah and Cordell absolutely consumed by this tiny being, I have a new definition for the word.  I see something new in Sarah, who is like a sister to me. It’s something I can’t yet relate to, but it’s beautiful and inspiring, and it makes me look forward to my own hopeful future. I have an understanding of how hard-earned the title of “Mom” really is. My eyes filled with tears more than once during my visit, but they were happy tears!

If nothing else, I get to be Aunt Amber to THIS:

How lucky am I?

* photos of Macy used with her mama’s permission.


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