The Honeymoon Hundred.

My abs and I are in a fight.

Three days ago, I challenged myself to do 100 sit-ups every day for 100 days. That’s nothing, I thought. Totally manageable! And by wedding (and honeymoon) time, I’ll be a ‘hottie with a body’ (or at least some sign of abs).  I decided to use my physio-ball, crossed my arms ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ style, and started counting. A few minutes later, I was done!

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Day Two. I woke up (to this) and sat up. Oh. Hello. I guess my adrenaline-fueled motivation on the first day masked the actual weakness of my abdominal muscles.  That’s good! I told myself. The pain means it’s working! If I keep it up, it will get easier! Cue small grimace; commence counting.

Today, I was sore all morning. One of my oldest childhood friends is vacationing in Park City, and we had a great lunch, just catching up.

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I laughed at something and had to clutch my tummy, which suddenly felt like I was being stabbed. Uh oh. This did not bode well for Day Three. Determined, I got home, sat on the ball, and braced myself.  My face during the first 15 was probably similar to my scrunched-up ‘tough girl’ face from the target-shooting adventure. The 4 minutes it took to struggle through 100 sit-ups felt like 30. I tried to think of things to distract myself from this self-imposed discomfort. Some of my desperate and random thoughts:

Book #2 of 20 done! I wish Sissy Spacek and I were friends. I bet she’d like Toasted Marshmallow Squares! Hm, what should I read next..? (Look at pile of brand new books.)

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Must remember to post today’s photo…What was the prompt? “Under the couch” or something….Wait! I forgot to post the pic from yesterday! (Attempt to make mental note while still keeping count.)

I think I hear the sketchy pseudo-ice-cream-man going by again…any parent that lets their kids near that windowless van is just asking for an America’s Most Wanted situation…(Consider halting sit-ups to take photo of license plate.)

This can’t be right– should three days of sit-ups hurt this much? I hope I’m doing it right…What number is this? (63, 64, 65…)

What can I do with 30 leftover marshmallows? (Daydream briefly about camping.)

I love my growing little succulent family. Why are tiny plants so cute? I should get more. Where will I put them all? (Glance around bedroom.)

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Why isn’t this getting easier? I thought Day Two after a work-out was the painful one… honeymoon bikini, honeymoon bikini…(Scrunched-up ‘tough girl’ face.)

I’m totally having a glass of wine right after this. (Mouth waters.)

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Is that spider directly above me on the ceiling poisonous? (Fixate. Crunch faster.)

When I finished my 100, I patted myself on the back. I know tomorrow might will hurt- again.  But I’m sticking with it. My bikini (and my new husband) will thank me for it.

Only, um, 97 days to go. (Sigh.)

19 replies »

  1. You are hilarious… I couldn’t help but laugh when reading about the shady ice cream man. My thoughts exactly! I’ve often thought….um, is anyone else taking note that those guys w/ their ghetto so-called ice cream trucks, have gotten even more suspect through the years? And what is with that creepy music? Taking all the aforementioned into consideration, how is this attracting kids? Ok, clearly I’m aging myself here.

    I couldn’t help but notice the portion of the Hatfields and McCoys book in your picture. I admit, I don’t have really any time to read anything these days unless it’s nursing related and consists of at least a billion pages. ughhhh. But, I just watched a little of that series on the History channel…it was pretty good. You will have to let me know how that book is when you get to it! Planning to dive into my old vet books and the Longmire series when the torture of the RN program has concluded…the day can’t come soon enough!

    Ok, last but not least…keep it up lady! The first few days/week is always tough…boooo! I’ve just started back attempting to resume my running mileage/routine…pre ACL repair. Holy crap…I’ve got a long way to go. At least there are cocktails afterwards! So, cheers to abs and toned thighs!

    • This guy has cruised through the ‘hood a few times since the weather warmed up, and his music is sort of like a warped LP album of kid’s music. I feel like our area is pretty “on it” so someone would have reported anything suspicious- that said, I have never seen kids running after his van! Do they need permits?!
      Um, the reason I bought that book about the Hatfields & McCoys is because we watched that whole 3-part series on the History Channel! LOVED it. So good. That’s Kevin Costner’s wheelhouse, let’s just say it. I was so intrigued that I bought a book to learn more.
      And, thanks for the encouragement! Sometimes I’m shocked that I’m not 18 anymore, able to do anything physically and never feeling the aftershocks…Cheers to abs/thighs! 🙂

  2. This is hilarious! I feel like you and I think the same. I’ve recently decided to try a similar challenge… 100 sit ups a day until my half marathon in August. I was awesome Day 1 and then forgot to do it on Day 2. The perfectionist in me says, “oh well, you might as well give up.” but the idealist in me says “keep going!” and the real me says “just do it for the glass of wine!” lol… see? same mind. Great post!

  3. GEEZ this is very ambitious. I was all proud of myself for implementing 30 minutes of cardio a day and installing a doorway pullup bar into the kitchen (must do at least one pullup on the way in and out). But this kicks my effort level’s butt. Good luck to you!!!

  4. I decided to try a 12 week fencing course for 1.5hrs per week. I never realised how incredibly painful it would be. Fencing’s main position is ‘en garde’ which is basically a deep deep deep squat which you are meant to hold for the ENTIRE session. I literally could not get out of bed for the next 2 days. Only 4 days later have I managed to stop waddling around and walk in a less ridiculous manner. After reading your post, I doubt next week is going to be any easier. Only 11 more classes to go though. Check out my blog: Smart Cookie. I’d love your feedback as I’m new to blogging.

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