Weekend reflection.

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We spent our weekend close to home, enjoying each other’s company and hoarding Cholula snuzzles. We spied the backs of our heads on television. We wiped tears from our cheeks while watching an incredible Arnold Palmer documentary. We went out on a date to our favorite restaurant. We stayed in for a date with take-out sushi. John skied powder in May and I laughed with girlfriends over wine/lunch. We caught up on house chores, talked about upcoming trips and adventures, and made some magic in the kitchen together more than once.

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When you’ve lost your first pregnancy just weeks prior, it turns out that Mother’s Day is a little rough. I was unprepared for the emotion I felt over the weekend, the sadness and even envy that I experienced. I thought of women who’ve struggled far longer than I have to become mommies. I thought of my hubby, who lost his sweet mom to cancer ten years ago. I thought of my own strong Mama, who’s watched both of her babies go through hell this year. I was reminded, as I have been in other times in my life, that grief is a complex process that takes time; each feeling is valid along the way. I also felt a renewed hope to someday soon know firsthand what motherhood feels like- what an extraordinary gift it is. And I had many moments where I simply paused in gratitude for my life and the love that fills it!

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It made it easier to deal with the fact that it’s still snowing in May…

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How did you spend your weekend? Share with me!

One year ago: A fabulous Friday, indeed.

15 Comments

  1. Looks like you guys caught a glimpse of Guy Fieri! I’ve always loved how he hosts the Minute to win it show.. So this is really cool to me 🙂

    1. John and I were actually part of the filming for a DD&D episode and were interviewed by Mr. Fieri and everything! Sadly, we didn’t make the cut for the final episode but we spotted our heads… ha!

      1. We know the owners and were invited to be a part of the filming. We were only there for the last day (the crew was there for three days). They filmed us eating (VERY close up) and Guy chatted with us about why we like Silver Star etc. It was a really fun experience!

  2. I am so sorry to hear that you lost a baby. It is a great loss and one that can only be understood by mothers who have lost a child during pregnancy. I lost two children, one at 5 weeks and the second (a boy) a five and a half months. Found your blog when we researched the Yurt. I knew just by the way you wrote, how much you enjoy cooking and the outdoors that we had a lot in common. So I just had to express my sadness in my heart for your loss

    PS. We enjoyed the Yurt

    1. Thank you so much for reaching out. I agree that only someone who has been through it can know what it feels like. I’m so sorry you had to experience two miscarriages!
      I’m so glad you enjoyed the yurt! It’s a special little spot- we loved it!

  3. My sister lost her first baby as well, and it was devastating, as it is for everyone who experiences that loss. Now here we are, a year later, and she is five weeks from her due date. So, my weekend was filled with surprising my sister for dinner (with two of her best friends who flew in from out of state), throwing her a shower, spending time with Mom who came into town for the shower (and just in time for Mother’s Day), and running 20 miles. It’s wonderful how things can turn around.
    My heart goes out to you – xo

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